Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
Emo Philips


Buddhist Thought…
People with opinions just go around bothering each other.
~ The Buddha (Sutta Nipata, Magandiya Sutta)
“Whenever you want to do a bodily action, you should reflect on it: ‘This bodily action I want to do—would it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Would it be an unskillful bodily action, with painful consequences, painful results?’ If, on reflection, you know that it would lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it would be an unskillful bodily action with painful consequences, painful results, then any bodily action of that sort is absolutely unfit for you to do. But if on reflection you know that it would not cause affliction… it would be a skillful bodily action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then any bodily action of that sort is fit for you to do.”

The Six Perfections – Milarepa
by Milarepa

For generosity, nothing to do,
Other than stop fixating on self.

For morality, nothing to do,
Other than stop being dishonest.

For patience, nothing to do,
Other than not fear what is ultimately true.

For effort, nothing to do,
Other than practice continuously.

For meditative stability, nothing to do,
Other than rest in presence.

For wisdom, nothing to do,
Other than know directly how things are.

With appreciate to Ven. Jeff.

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

Fake Buddha Quotes

Mushin1: Mu can be translated into nothingness and none, and shin is kokoro. Combining together, literal translation is no- kokoro. However, in Zen context, mushin is considered as the highest mental state where one is free from all of the thoughts, and distractions, and reaches to the supreme concentration.


The Sayings of the Jewish Buddha

  • If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
  • Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
  • Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish.
  • Wherever you go, there you are.. Your luggage is another story.
  • Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about?
  • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy.
  • There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
  • Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then, what do you have? Bupkis.
  • The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish.
  • Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out… Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
  • Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.
  • Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
  • Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
  • The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself.. The Buddha says, There is no self. So … maybe we’re off the hook.

The Buddha said, “Subhuti, if, then, a man or
woman filled as many worlds as that with the seven
jewels and gave them as a gift to the tathagatas, the
arhans, the fully-enlightened ones, and a noble son
or daughter grasped but one four-line gatha of this
dharma teaching and made it known and explained
it to others, the body of merit produced as a result
would be immeasurably, infinitely greater.”


  1. Maitri
  2. Karuna
  3. Sympathetic joy
  4. Equanimity

A monk asked, “When I wish to become a Buddhawhat then?”
Joshu said, “You have set yourself quite a task, haven’t you?”
The monk said, “When there is no effort-what then?”
Joshu said, “Then you are a Buddha already.”


A Zen student went to a temple and asked how long it would take him to gain enlightenment if he joined the temple.
“10 years,” said the Zen master.
“Well, how about if I really work hard and double my effort?”
“In that case, 20 years.”


These four, O Monks, are distortions of perception, distortions of thought distortions of view…

Sensing no change in the changing,
Sensing pleasure in suffering,
Assuming “self” where there’s no self,
Sensing the un-lovely as lovely —


Don’t recall
Don’t imagine
Don’t think
Don’t examine
Don’t control

Let go of what has passed
Let go of what may come
Let go of what is happening now
Don’t try to figure anything out
Don’t try to make anything happen
Relax, right now, and rest

Six Words of Advice
Six essential key points by Tilopa

Over ten years ago, one of my disciples in Vietnam had a stupa, a Buddhist shrine built for my ashes. I told her that I didn’t need a stupa for my ashes. I don’t want to be stuck in a stupa. I want to be everywhere.

“But,” she protested, “it’s already built!”
“In that case,” I said, “you’ll have to put an inscription on the front, saying, ‘I am not in here.’” It’s true. I won’t be there in the stupa.

Even if my body is cremated and the ashes are put in there, they aren’t me. I won’t be in there. Why would I want to be in there when outside it is so beautiful?

But in case some people misunderstand, I told her they might need to add another inscription, saying, “I am not out there either.” People won’t find me inside or outside the stupa. Yet they may still misunderstand.

So there may need to be a third inscription that reads, “If I am to be found anywhere, it is in your peaceful way of breathing and walking.”

That is my continuation. Even though we may never have met in person, if, when you breathe in, you find peace in your breathing, I am there with you.

~Thich Nhat Hanh