For quite some time, I’d think about Dharma teachings throughout the day, every day. It was constantly in the background of my mind. It wasn’t unpleasant, but I had mixed feelings about having Dharma teachings floating into my thoughts so often. I have no idea what happened, but this stopped, or at least slowed to a trickle. This was a little disconcerting. Had I lost interest in the Dharma teachings? I didn’t think so. Rather, it occurred to me, I was more living the spirit of the Dharma teachings. And that thought brought me some joy. I continue to bathe myself in Dharma teachings. I read, I listen to audiobooks, I attend meditation services, I visit Mt. Adams Buddhist Temple, and I’m in touch with Thay Kozen often. It’s almost as if I’m taking a nice, warm bath in the Dharma. I used to “try” to figure things out. I like this nice, warm bath much more. My thinking mind has faded. My reliance on non-thinking is comforting.
I’ve also learned that “trying” to have “experiences” is fruitless. The several times I’ve had an Experience, it’s been totally unexpected. I suspect that Experiences are triggered by more bathing in Dharma teachings, rather than struggling to learn, study, or contemplate them. That’s been my experience, at any rate. So I continue to sit. I continue to bathe. And who doesn’t like a little Mr. Bubbles in their bath?