Now here’s an irony for you. Sometimes when I feel anger, stress, resentment, or whatever, I feel mad at myself for having those feelings. And then I feel angry at myself for feeling mad at myself. Clearly this spirals downhill very quickly, until I either get absorbed by it or just get tired and laugh at it. Here’s a new trick I’ve tried to avoid this downward spiral.
I’ve been finding lately that when I find myself sinking into thoughts of stress, resentment, worry, sadness, or whatever, I sometimes think to myself that it’s okay to feel these thoughts. I don’t try to “should” them away. Telling myself that I shouldn’t feel some thought is powerless. But telling myself that it’s okay to feel a thought has power. Being okay with feelings has the power to further remind myself that it’s my choice, and if I want to feel down, it’s okay. It’s my choice. It’s okay, and it’s my choice. Somehow, at this point, the feeling fades a bit.
This works for me; maybe it’ll work for you too.